She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
