Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
