I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
