Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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