Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
