On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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