Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
