this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
