ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Randomize
