i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
