Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
