to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
time to smoke my breakfast
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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