Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
false alarm. still invincible.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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