So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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