I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
