I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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