you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
