I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just forgot I was standing up.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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