1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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