I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
