what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
