So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
50% drunk capacity currently
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
