She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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