I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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