I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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