when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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