I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
