Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?

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(970): View more from Colorado

And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out

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(419): View more from Ohio

Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.

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(619): View more from California

I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.

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(804): View more from Virginia

My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.

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(863): View more from Florida

Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.

(813): View more from Florida

You always make things weird.

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(281): View more from Texas

There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.

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