no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
