I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
