I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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