I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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