i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize