Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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