Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
