Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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