I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
