I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
