it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
