can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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