I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
