And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
do herpes really smell.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize