when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
