Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize