and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
