these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
