I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
