Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
