yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize