she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
