It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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