are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
