# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
