for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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