The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
