He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
