i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
