moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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