did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize