Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
