He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
