As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
