I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
