Fuck appropriateness.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize