Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
