I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
