she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
