so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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