Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
