i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
