He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
