my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
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