i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
