My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
